NOV 06,
2016
This post
was scheduled for NOV 1, 2016. My
brother came by one week ago today, and in the spirit of the topic of this
article, I needed to balance spending time with him, and trying to do
"family stuff," verses sticking to my schedule to meet my
self-imposed deadline.
With that
said …
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My
September post went up as scheduled on September 01, and the next day I
finished the post for October. But I
mangled the process to set up the publishing schedule and didn't get it
published until October 02.
Since I
finished the October post well ahead of time and had a large lead time for
November's post, I wanted to get back to work on some Speculative Fiction, my
werewolf and I were needing to get in some hunting, and I was hoping to start
working on reviewing math at Khan
Academy again.
The Prozac
and Thyroid Meds I've been on since January to treat my depression have
suppressed my appetite and increased my metabolism, resulting in a loss of
about 30 pounds at this point. Now it's
time to lose some more weight. The
weight of the anchors from the past that have been holding me down.
* * * * *
Balance.
I guess
I've been doing pretty well at blogging on a regular schedule. To this point the schedule's been only once a
month, sure, but at least I've kept at it since I posted Depression,
Writers' Group Conferences and Board Positions, and Blogging Again June
15th.
This marks
6 posts, which is the most I've ever
done in a single year so far, and is the longest time I've continued regularly
scheduled postings. However, I did get
9 posts up across DEC 2009 - FEB 2010 before failing to continue posting at
least semi-regularly.
My next
goal is to hit 10 regularly scheduled posts.
I also have the goal of perhaps posting twice a month, one post as I
have been doing, and one post as a report on the monthly Northwest Christian Writers'
Association meetings, although that may not happen until next
September. Before that though I want to
build up a buffer again for getting out
posts.
It took me
about 3½ months to build up a 2 month buffer for getting out posts, and I lost
that lead when I got into a cleaning spree in the middle of September, a
cleaning spree to declutter my room, my life, and my mind.
As I start
work on this blog article for November I have only 3 weeks to finish and stay
on schedule and I must balance this decluttering I've started with writing my
next post.
And
drawing.
I've been
working on finding balance. Balance
between blogging and Spec Fic writing, balance between writing and drawing,
balance between these right-brained, creative activities,
and
left-brained, logical, analytical activities like math, computer programming,
and science,
and
getting ready to get back to work tutoring.
But also I
had to balance other activities.
The
cleaning spree started partly when I wanted more, and better balanced, light
for my drawing. This required being able
to open the blinds on my window, blinds I'd not bothered to open in the last 4
years I've been here because I had collected too much junk which prevented the
light from getting through to me. But it
was time to shine a little light on things, and I started throwing out the junk
between me and the light I needed.
As changes
happen they cause more changes to occur and I am trying to adapt to those
changes, more specifically trying to instigate those changes and to use them as
opportunities. My moving the small
pebbles in front of the blinds started a
landslide of cleaning and I continued throwing away more of the old junk I've
accumulated, junk that has become dusty
anchors, anchors I've lugged around for far too long simply out of habit.
I have to
balance out how much time I spend on decluttering with how much time I spend
using the newly salvaged space. I can't
afford to get so focused on cleaning that I forget my goal is to eliminate
distractions so I can stabilize my environment and concentrate on writing and
drawing. I certainly don't need
eliminating distractions to become a distraction.
Balancing
my writing and drawing time also includes being observant and intentional of
how much time I spend listening to Writing Excuses podcasts, reading Writer's Digest blog articles and
books, and watching my YouTube
playlist drawing videos. Gathering information from podcasts , blog
articles and books, and videos is great, but I need to spend more time
practicing what I am studying.
Collecting
information and taking notes only goes so far, and I won't get better until I
apply the information.
Getting
better and finding balance includes not only making changes to my physical
environment, but also making changes in my habits as well.
As I get
rid of temporal possessions which I've mistakenly held close, it brings to mind
needing to get rid of old habits I've held on to so dearly, old ways of doing
things, and even eliminating entire activities that were distracting me from
the things I needed to do to improve my mood.
The things which I held that
distracted me from writing, and now drawing.
As with
throwing away the junk in my room I've been holding on to, some of the junk in
my life has been easier to let go off than other stuff. In order to make room in my life to receive
God's blessings, in order to move forward, I am trying to open my hands and let
go of the things that I've held so tight, so God can give me what He wants me
to have, and so I can cling more tightly to Him.
How much
of the junk in our lives do we accept because those we call (or called)
"friend" expect it of us?
Because our family expect it of us, because that's the way they did
things? Because that's the way it's always been done?
How much
junk in our lives we hold on to was passed down from earlier generations? How much junk do we hand down to the next
generation, and how much junk do they pass down to the generation that follows
them? How many generations must inherit
the previous generations' junk? How much
is it costing us to hold onto this stuff?
How much has it cost me?
Selling
some of the stuff, as friends and family have told me I should have done, even
if it may have had some small monetary value, would have cost me more than what
few dollars I may have gotten out of it.
Continuing to hang on to anchors, hoping to still get some good use out
of them, other than to be pulled down, is more a waste of energy and a
repetition of the old habits I'm trying to break out of. I simply need to get rid of this stuff so
that it doesn't continue pulling me back down into the crab pot.
If you
always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always got.
Doing the
same thing over and over again and expecting different results is the
definition of insanity.
In the
spirit of not always doing what I've always done, there is much I was going to
try to include in this article that I had to leave out, now with my being
delayed, there is even more. The closer
I got to finishing this post, the more difficult I found it to balance between
"getting it perfect," vs getting it
finished.
I was
attempting to balance getting this post finished on time, and saying what I
felt I needed to say with going too
long, saying too much, and being late.
All I can
do is all I can do, with this article, with my cleaning and decluttering my
room, with letting go, and with Letting God.
And with doing what I can and leaving the results in God's hands.
Don't
worry, I still have plenty of fodder for future posts.
1,000,000
words, 10,000 hours, 46 years, 7 months and counting worth.
Man going
to writing conferences can really be a
pain.
And so can
being a brother. But it was worth my being late on this post.
Until next
time.
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