MIDNIGHT SNACKS

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It was TUES last week (12 APR) that I started writing last week's post. I'm going to try to post once a week, and this week I thought I would give you the aforementioned promised conclusion to Midnight Snacks. So without any further ado, I give you Part Two. (Part One is here.)
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PART TWO

I decided that discretion was the better part of valor, and rather than foolishly going out into the living room and challenging the as of yet unknown numbers of intruders, I would make my escape as quietly and quickly as possible. It was a hot summer’s night and I had already opened the window, and had the fan going for some night air circulation. The fan may have covered any noises I may have made as I attempted to silently remove the screen from the, thankfully, first floor window. I eased the screen out of the frame and carefully set it aside where it wouldn’t fall or get knocked over while I proceeded to step two of my escape and evasion tactics. I slipped through the empty window frame and climbed outside and raced over to the neighbor’s apartment, where thankfully he had a phone, and called the police. Mike was insisting I had been dreaming and had been hearing things when I woke up. I decried his accusations as I dialed 9-1-1, and informed the dispatcher I had intruders in the apartment.

While I waited for the police to show, I snuck back to the backside of our apartment where Greg’s room was and lightly taped on his window, and whispered “Greg, Greg, there’s somebody in the apartment.” I repeated myself until he responded and I told him the police were on the way, and to stay put, unless he wanted to join me in crawling out a window, and wait. He, like me, was a country boy, and we grew up using certain tools that more “refined” folk might look down upon. I told him to stay cool and stay in the room, and not to do anything stupid when the cops arrived.

Eventually the cops show up (when seconds count, the police are only minutes away), and by now my adrenaline level is sky high. The cops show up and ask what’s going on. I tell them that there are an unknown number of unwanted visitors in my apartment and that I crawled out my window and after calling for them, went back and told Greg what was going on. The police went to go through the front door and it was locked. HUH??? How could anyone have gotten in if the front door was locked?? Apparently, when Wendy left, Greg turned the lock, but didn’t push the door entirely closed, so the door didn’t latch.

The police made there way around to the back patio door, and because the curtains had been left open they could see the two visitors that had found their way into my living room. Apparently these two were well known by the local constabulary, as they called out their names, and told them to come over and open the closed and locked patio door. “John,” and “Joe” eventually managed to stumble over to the door and let in the police. These two had a bag with a liquor store label from across town. Apparently these two had bought their nightly supply of booze, stumbled back across town, stumbled into my apartment complex and managed to find our door had never been properly secured, and wandered in to have their beer bask. Thankfully, they were no more dangerous than this. If they had been the guy on the loose while I was house-sitting for friends in Alaska during Spring Break…, but that’s another story.

The police got the two cuffed and stuffed into the back of the cruiser and came over and told me I was going to have to make a citizen’s arrest, and then release my prisoners into police custody. Apparently, the police can’t arrest for certain misdemeanors unless they see them committed, and so I made the ”citizen’s arrest” for trespassing, and signed the forms releasing the two into police custody. That was the last I ever heard of these two visitors.

Oh, I never made it to the accounting test the next morning.